Sunday, January 07, 2007
Looking back Year 2006 and now...>
Hm... Suddenly think of this... Year 2006... what did I do? What had happened? What is the most memorable? What is the most sad thing? etc...
During year 2006, I had my sadness things (past already), and also had my most memorable thing... In year 06, I had my (so call) longerest and happy relationship end, which I was very sad about it. I almost under depression... After that relationship, I put my trust on friendship, which I think is the most valuable thing at that point of time. Cause Friendship is a ship that won’t and never sank. And that's how I got to know my current BF from then...
I was under depression for a period of time, and of cause I want to find friends to talk about it, and ya... I found my "dust bin". I always throw my rubbish to him and at the same time ask him for guy's point of view. From then onwards, I look forward for his advice, his comment, his solution...etc Don't ask me why I so trust him... Tell you all, I also don't know... Just feel comfortable when he told me his thinking. Everytime I had problems, the 1st person I think of is Him. Strange rite? Haha... I also tho. so...
From simple friend’s conversation... To relationship problems... To my personal feelings... To everything under the sun... To dinner outings... etc Things got some changes after one close action from me to him, then people start to gossip about us. At that time, I never feel angry at all. But I was happy~ Haha... I was happy to hear that kind of gossip... When I know that I'm not angry but happy, I know something is wrong... I was interested in him... >"<
Attracted by the way he smiles, his poison smile… Maybe you never notice while everytime you’re smiling, I also smile at the same time~ Attracted by his personality, his caring and observant towards me… Maybe you never notice that, you’re always the 1st and only one who will ask me to cheer up when nobody notice my mood is down. Attracted by his side view, his handsome side view. Maybe you never notice that my eye sigh always follow you, and always secretly looking at your side view. I wish you never notice at all, so that I can have courage to do it again and again. I know I won’t do all these to a normal friend, so I know I had fall for you.
As a girl, I don’t have courage to make the step to tell you I like you. I can only make small hints to show that you’re special from all of them. Find chance to ask you out for dinner gathering, ask you for advice, ask every small little things… etc I always hope things will work out, but while I heard that you told me you treat me as a very close good friend, and don’t want to cross that tinny line… I know I had to hide my feelings deep inside my heart and treat you as what you want me to be. But do you know that I still wish to see you in every gathering? And my love for you grown more and more everyday… At a point of time, you gave me hope and you also drop me at the same time. Every night I felt that dream, and when the next day I wake up… I know it won’t be real.
Suddenly things changed, surprise happened. I tho. it is a dream but when you hug me to sleep, I realize that I’m not dreaming~ It’s real~ It’s all real~ You fill my heart, my soul, my everything. You give me strength to carry on my life, you give me courage to feel the love again, you give me memorable memories, you give me surprise, you give me your love, you give me your trust… You give me your everything you can~ And now I’ll give you all my love, my soul, my everything. We’ll see the sun rise tomorrow and we’ll see the sun set together, we’ll spend our sweet time together… I’ll accompany you to see our future~!!~
Thanks my dearest Anata, thanks for loving me and I love you too~ Till the end of the day… Silent code: Aishiteru…You are my Colourful Darling~!!~
